Only the truth makes you sit down and think...........

Well here i am on this rainy gloomy thundery morning thinking about some things, realizing that all of this time that i have thought that i have friends that i really don't have who i thought i had. I have a set of good friends who i know they are my friends then i mean i have my family "cousins" who know who they are. It's hard to see that when you think you can talk to that person and that you have a good friendship with them that you realize that you don't they just think of you as a close person who they've known for a while. That they say they care about you but really they just say that so you will feel better. This is something that a lot of people don't see this may sound bad but this happens all the time so i kind of have an eye for this now. I work differently than others. I look for someone who is going to be there for me someone who is not going to bring me down someone that i can trust not to be friends with me one second and turn around and they act like they don't even know you. I'm tired of acting like it doesn't bother me. IT DOES!!! i've spent a many of nights setting around and to the point of being almost depressed over it. I'm Looking for someone who wants to be my friend who will depend on me just as i will depend on them, there has to be someone out there thats wants the same thing right? I'm not alone am I?? Someone contact me give me some advice..............please.